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Category: Oops

Grr!

Man am I grumpy today.

I went to put the cover I bought to let the wicker couch I got for free survive the winter, and it didn’t quite fit. With the little wicker legs sticking out, there is a much greater chance of it (a)not surviving or (b)getting stolen. But I can’t bring myself to buy a chain for it because there’s nothing I can think of to chain it to that I am not willing to have damaged in an attempt to steal the couch.

However, while I was wrestling with the couch, I noticed that the last time the grass had been mowed, they had also mowed flat my blackberry brambles. It’s not like it wasn’t the fucking neighborhood drunk doing the mowing – and I know he knows that those are my fucking blackberries! If he thought he was pruning them for the winter, he could have just asked and I would have told him that they aren’t going to produce a single fucking blackberry until they can grow for *two* years. Fucker. And it’s not like he even bothered to mow down the *weeds* in the yard, either. If I’d noticed before that he’d done that, I wouldn’t have loaned his girlfriend (the former neighborhood cat lady) $5 this week.

Also, scheduling will not work for this weekend. Nothing. There are 15 things I could do, and none of them want to work work with the others. Also, I want a weekend off. Though it I have a weekend off, there are projects at home I need to work on that I have been very successfully procrastinating. And that’s not buddies a weekend off at all.

Swap one for the other

The original Battlestar Galactica, you know – the one with Lorne Greene, is so much better than the new one.

Driving on highways during the daytime is always worse than driving at night. Driving at dusk, dawn, and 3am joyous.

Dairy products are interchangeable.

The key to running an economic kitchen is just the right amount of storage space – too much, and those exotic sauces and fancy jams start looking sexy; too little, and you can’t stock up on sales. It’s the freedom to be able to buy the six boxes of pasta for $3 that saves you from running out of pasta and getting stuck with a box for $2.50. It’s knowing that you have enough meat in your freezer that you can wait for good sales and never pay more than $2/lb for any kind of meat (and can stubbornly wait for some to get even cheaper – like chicken thighs below $.50/lb, whole chicken and pork shoulders or picnic ham roasts for $.80 – and if you live somewhere these are cheaper, that alone will be enough for me to spend at least 5 good minutes considering moving there). Produce is pure luck, though – luckily, I have people selling lots of good produce cheaply off the back of a truck.

Sewing your own clothes from scratch doesn’t save a dime.

People think I can garden even though most of the pots on my porch are empty. The pots are empty because I have been systematically killing the plants that were passed to me when my neighbor moved out of state. They think I can garden because I have pots.

Spring Gardening

Note: this was a poll

Poll #722460 Oops

Have you ever needed to do some gardening where you knew there was poison ivy?

yes
6 (50.0%)

no
6 (50.0%)

Have you ever just gone ahead and done the gardening anyway?

yes
5 (45.5%)

no
6 (54.5%)

Have you ever subsequently gotten poison ivy (despite reasonable precautions)?

yes
2 (18.2%)

no
9 (81.8%)

Was it on your hands (even though you couldn’t so much see any bumps or feel it itching)?

yes
2 (18.2%)

no
9 (81.8%)

Did you then end up with poison ivy anywhere… a bit delicate?

yes
1 (9.1%)

no
10 (90.9%)

Why this line of questioning?

BWWAAhahaahhaaaa! Heeeee! Oooh… *wipes tears from eyes*
8 (66.7%)

These are perfectly reasonable questions about spring gardening
2 (16.7%)

What? I’m lost. Poison Ivy was in the DC Universe, right?
0 (0.0%)

I can’t believe you did that.
7 (58.3%)

I feel your pain,
3 (25.0%)

Questioning? I’m just here for the ticky box.
2 (16.7%)

Ticky box!
5 (41.7%)

ETA: And how come all you people are perfectly willing to say you feel my pain, when you are also saying, “Oh, no, that never happened to me.” TTttthhhhbbbbttttt!!