So I pushed the recovery on the injured knee and let myself get worn out. And when I am tired, my immune system crashes. So I have a cold.
I’m having the weirdest relationship with food right now. It just doesn’t taste like much, or I have to put a lot of work into tasting it.
And the stuff I am making at home, mostly seems to make me actively uninterested.
Part of it is that I’m worried without a reliable sense of smell that just cooking is becoming a high risk activity – especially as food sits around longer when I’m not interested in eating it.
But even when I make something safe (like a whole tube of Pillsbury cinnamon buns because I’d just finished reading Sunshine by Robin McKinley and was craving cinnamon rolls as big as my head like you would not believe), it still hardly registers as having eaten food – I just feel vaguely starving and uninterested in eating.
I am going out to eat more because I can trust that food to be food.
And I am craving fancier food because then not only do I know the food is good, but the atmosphere is also soothing.
And yet right after I eat, it still feels as though I haven’t. And I don’t know if that because I’m still hungry because it was over 24 hours since the last time I ate or just that I’m not registering my innards correctly.
So I’m pretty much trying to make sure I keep track of time, but that’s never been the easiest thing for me to do, either.
I just want to be back on kilter.